Do you suspect a bit of infidelity in your relationship? I wouldn’t be surprised as most people will have been on the receiving end of this at some time of their life. Do you know what is worse than having someone be unfaithful to you and finding out? Not knowing when the person is…
There is nothing worse in a relationship than mistrust, so you need to handle the problem quickly before the loving relationship you had starts to crumble. You know what I mean, if you mistrust someone then they can sense it and you treat them differently, in the end this turns to anger and resentment from both people involved and the relationship is dead in the water. So how can you tell? How can you back up your gut instinct and be sure enough to confront your partner? Well here I will discuss 5 ways you can glean some more information.
A distance forms between you. Some couple are open and close, others are not, but either way there will be times when you confide in each other and turn to each other for support. You may notice that at times they would usually talk to you then they are less forthcoming, maybe when they were stressed they would come to you, or when they were upset. This is usually because they are trying not to be as open with you as they feel less of a connection due to guilt.
Buys new things that are either out of character for them, or the act of buying new things is odd. Some people get into the habit of having the same clothes and perfumes/aftershaves etc and rarely buy new things. If that same person then suddenly decides to go out and get an array of new clothes you should be suspicious of their motives (could be a spring clean, but you need to check!). Equally, if you partner is always very reserved in their choices and suddenly they start to buy more risqué clothes, or even the other way round, then you need to check for the other signs to see if something is going on.
They become more defensive and quick to anger. Guilt gnaws away at you from inside, and often innocent comments like, ‘Did you take the remote control?’ can trigger that guilt and they respond in an out of character manner. If they seem to think you are accusing them all the time then there may be a reason behind that…
Being too nice. Remember to only look for behaviour that is out of the ordinary, if your partner is always nice and does nice things for you then this sign may not be noticeable. Again this stems from guilty feelings, in an attempt to assuage their guilt then they overcompensate by being overly nice to you, almost as if they can ‘offset’ the negative act of infidelity with a positive. If you start to get your favourite food all the time and gifts then that should raise some flags in your psyche.
Unusual or unusually high usage of mobile phones/email/the internet.
Recent surveys show that 30% ofpeople posting online personal ads are married.
In Let's face it, if you are involved with someone then you tend to want to contact them all the time when you are away from them. Even the most inept unfaithful partner in the world knows that constantly meeting person is going to get you caught, so what do they do? They resort to more passive communication methods. You will know the normal usage levels for your partner on the phone and internet, if you see that rising then try to drag them away, if they get defensive and angry… you may be on to something.
So what do you do next? If you see enough signs then you may be justified to confront them, but only if you are sure, being wrong would probably mean the end of the relationship anyway. Or you could hire a Private Investigator, these professionals are skilled in tracking and tracing people both online and offline. Did you know that you can have a search done for the email address of your partner on hundreds of dating websites at once? Or trace back that dodgy email and find out who the face behind the screen is? How about tracking that unknown number back to source?
You can even take that cell phone or Blackberry and retrieve all the deleted text messages and photos using a service called Hand Held Digital Forensics.
Then with evidence in hand you can make an informed decision and get your life back on track.
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